One of the thoughts that went through my head when I had Emily was “what did I just do to Jena.” She was going to be 2 years old in 11 days and my thoughts instantly went into the future. I was worried that I just made her life so much harder. That she now had to take care of her sibling after we are gone. As an only child, I wanted her to have a sibling but I wasn’t expecting a sibling with a disability. Our life was going to be so different than what I imagined. I had no idea what our future held and I was scared. At that time, I didn’t know all the great and wonderful things that were going to happen for our family. I saw dark but there was so much light and it was going to make sure we saw it shine.

Now lets go back to the what did I just do to Jena thought. You want to know what I did to Jena. Well it wasn’t me it is what has Emily done for Jena (and JD). Emily has not only helped me became a better person. She has helped all of us. Many people think that having a child with Down syndrome will bring on hardship and sadness to a family. It is hard and challenging at times but it also helps shape us into better people.

Siblings of children with Down syndrome often are more compassionate, empathetic, kind and nonjudgmental. They are more accepting and appreciative of others differences. They actually see them as more alike than different. They know the challenges their siblings has and are very proud of their accomplishments. They get to experience pure joy and happiness through their sibling.

Jena and JD treat Emily no different than they treat each other. They fight and get mad at each other. But they also play, laugh and have fun. They push her to do things she might not want to do and then ends up loving it. And sometimes she pushes them to do things they might not want to do. They have been dragged along to lots therapy appointments were they have learned patience and see first hand how hard their sister has to work. She inspires them to work hard and to appreciate the little things in life. She is their biggest cheer leader and they are hers.

Yes their life looks different than  most of their peers. But they have an understanding of so many things that most kids let alone adults have any clue. They are the ones that will go up to the kid alone on the playground or at lunch. They are the ones that will reach and help when needed. They will be the ones that will make the person that is looked at as different feel included and the same as them. They will set an example for others. And yes sometimes they feel bad especially when they hear peers use the r-word. Even though it can be hard to speak up they will. Jena recently wrote a paper about for a school assignment. It made my heart burst with pride to know that she is making a difference. And that she is speaking out for others.

Over the years I have witnessed their compassion or have been told about it. When Jena was in elementary school, she saw a boy sitting alone every day at lunch. So one day she decided to sit with him. A few of her friends joined her. He didn’t talk to them but I had found out that he was so happy to have some kids sit with him. She would also say good bye and hug a girl in her class that had a paraprofessional. She didn’t interact with the other kids much but Jena always made the effort to make her feel like she was part of the class. JD has been doing this too. He seems to gravitate to the kids that need more help. He tells me when they are successful at something and how happy he is for them. I would hope both Jena and JD would be kind kids even if Emily wasn’t in our life but having her as their sister has made them truly amazing kids. They are going to make such a difference in this world.

And yes they might have to step up and take care of their sister when Doug and I are gone. But who knows what the future holds for Emily. They may want her to live with them but she may tell them no and live on her own. Only time will tell. But I do know that whatever their future holds, they will be there for each other.