You would think I would be better at this by now but nope. I’m a mess.  Yes, it’s the end of the school year but for me it is so much more. It is saying goodbye to people that have impacted Emily’s life in such a positive way. Emily is finishing up her 8th grade year which means she heads to high school in the fall. A new building…new teachers…new paraprofessionals…new therapist…new friends. New is good and she needs to move on but saying goodbye is so damn hard. And it never gets easier.

 

I have cried for days…actually more like weeks. And here we are down to our last couple days of school. And I am not ready nor am I ok. I am a complete mess. I think I am more a mess this time around then the many goodbyes I have had in the past. I have been trying to figure out why. It could be the fact that she is headed into high school. Maybe it’s because Jena is heading into her Senior year. Maybe it’s my hormones going crazy because I will be 50 soon. I do think these things are contributing to it, but they are not the main reason.

 

You see Emily has had 2 paraprofessionals that have spent the majority of her 3 years in Middle School with her. They were there at the very beginning when she struggled, and they are still with her as she proudly walks the halls with her head held high. She had a very hard 6th grade year. There were behaviors she has never done before. I would get phone calls almost daily about something that she did. I would feel instant dread when my phone would ring. She was challenging to say the least. But these 2 never gave up on her. They stood by her. They encouraged her. They believed in her. They knew she had so much potential. They wanted to be with her. They wanted her to succeed. They knew she was special. They knew she was more than her behaviors and struggles.

 

So, for the past 3 years they have helped her thrive. They showed her how capable she is to do anything she wants. They would go out of their way to make sure she could participate in anything she wanted to do. They loved her. They truly loved her and wanted nothing but the best for her. They enjoyed being with her and helped her grow. Emily has matured, gained confidence and independence. I have no doubt she will do well in high school. She is ready. And I know they were a big part in helping her for this next step.

 

I cannot thank Jessica and Kelly enough for all they have done for Emily. I knew she was in good hands. I knew she was happy. And if she wasn’t happy, I knew they could help her turn it around. I never worried about her. I didn’t worry about her feeling left out or being bullied. I knew she was surrounded by people that cared for her and protected her if needed. I am hopeful that we will have the same experience in high school. We have lucked out so far with elementary and middle school. I have my fingers crossed although these are very big shoes to fill. I hope I create a good relationship with her new paras, teachers and therapist. I hope they keep my in the loop and send me pictures. I loved when I got pictures and updates. Speaking on pictures they made a photo album for her (mine and Emily’s love language). And what they wrote at the end was beautiful. We truly hit the jackpot with them.

 

So, as I cry as I write I know we will keep in touch. Because when you create a bond like we have you become family. This is something that I never knew would happen. It has been one of those added bonuses to Emily’s diagnosis. People come into your life and they make such an impact that you can’t truly let them go. They become part of the journey. They become part of the successes and milestones. You become forever grateful for them. You can’t imagine what your life would look like without them. So as Emily is finishing her time with them I know it’s time to move on to the next chapter in her life even though it is so incredibly hard. She is one lucky girl to have some many wonderful people be part of her story. And I am so lucky too. I am grateful for these tears and puffy red eyes. They are a sign that we have been blessed. Not everyone has been this lucky and I know that. Thanks for making Emily’s Middle School years fun, exciting and memorable. She loves you! I know she will miss seeing you everyday at school. And I will miss you too.